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How to Write English Prose

Matthew Walther delivers a scorching critique of modern minimalist prose, advocating for a return to the rich, complex artistry of 17th-century English literature. He skewers revered style guides like Strunk & White and Orwell, presenting his own bold rules that prioritize precision, elegance, and the deliberate use of language's vast expressive power. This essay is a provocative challenge to conventional wisdom, inspiring writers to embrace language as a "magic" force rather than a mere tool for plain communication.

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The Lowdown

Matthew Walther's essay, "How to Write English Prose," is a spirited and controversial call to abandon the "banausic values" of modern minimalist writing in favor of a richer, more complex, and artful style. Drawing extensively from historical literary examples, Walther argues that contemporary writing has been neutered by a misguided pursuit of simplicity, leading to dull, anonymous prose.

  • Historical Context: Walther begins by celebrating the prose of 17th-century writers like Sir Thomas Browne and the King James Bible, showcasing what he considers the "beautiful" (ornamented) and "sublime" (majestic restraint) zenith of English prose. He emphasizes the language's unique capacity for "wild polyphony and gorgeously wanton dissonances."
  • Critique of Modern Trends: He laments the 20th-century shift towards "aesthetic minimalism," which he believes has resulted in "infantile" prose "denuded of nuance, elegance, intricacy, and originality."
  • Dismantling Style Guides: A significant portion of the essay is dedicated to fiercely refuting commonly accepted advice from influential works:
    • Strunk and White's Elements of Style: Declared "the most pernicious book of its kind," Walther lambasts its rules on grammar and usage as "fatuous advice and grammatical ignorance," advocating its destruction.
    • George Orwell's "Politics and the English Language": While acknowledging some merit, Walther calls several of Orwell's rules—especially "Never use a long word when a short one will do" and injunctions against passive voice or foreign phrases—"idiotic," "philistinism," or "trite and parochial balderdash."
  • Walther's Own Rules: He presents 33 "rules" covering vocabulary, style, punctuation, literary models, and reader engagement, all promoting a deliberate, maximalist, and intellectually challenging approach. Key tenets include:
    • Vocabulary: Always use the most exact word, regardless of obscurity; prioritize sound, imagery, and connotation; embrace precise scientific or foreign terms; avoid thesauruses.
    • Style: Choose elegance over "perfect clarity"; embrace verbal cleverness; "more often, more is more and less is less."
    • Punctuation: Master the semicolon and the dash.
    • Readers: Write for discerning readers, not for those who seek mere information or demand simplicity.
    • Purpose: View language as magic, capable of creating worlds and weaving spells; write for posterity, not just the moment.
  • Literary Exemplars: He provides passages from Stevenson, Warner, Baker, Fermor, and Nabokov as examples of the kind of rich, evocative prose he champions. He also notably dismisses Hemingway's Old Man and the Sea as an "excruciating specimen of bad schoolboy prose."

Walther's essay serves as a powerful and polemical defense of sophisticated, artistic prose, explicitly rejecting the modern drive for simplified communication. He challenges writers to resist the "spiritually deadening" values of late modernity and instead embrace the full, "magic" potential of language, prioritizing artistry, precision, and intellectual engagement over accessibility at all costs.