The Highest Point in the Netherlands
A 25-year veteran recounts the 'inhuman' process of being laid off from Cisco, detailing the deep personal wounds it reopened and his surprising journey toward healing. This raw, introspective piece resonates with the HN crowd by dissecting corporate culture's impact on individual identity and exploring unconventional paths to psychological recovery. It offers a poignant look at professional endings and personal beginnings, spiced with a touch of psychedelic self-discovery.
The Lowdown
Ole Trøan reflects on the year since Cisco made him redundant after a 25-year tenure, detailing not just the corporate mechanics but the profound personal fallout and his subsequent, unconventional path to emotional processing.
- Trøan describes the layoff process as "extremely well optimized" and "inhuman," characterized by a script and "instrumental empathy" from HR that felt designed to contain emotional impact.
- He grappled with the feeling of being "disposable" and the shame associated with it, despite rationally knowing the nature of corporate employment and having grown to dislike his job for years.
- The author critiques the corporate culture that fosters stagnation and devalues long-term employees, comparing the layoff experience to Alice Glaser's short story "The Tunnel Ahead," where one knowingly drives into an inevitable, life-altering event.
- Unable to find solace through conventional means, he participated in a psychedelic mushroom retreat in the Netherlands, which he previously would have mocked.
- During the retreat, guided by facilitators, he experienced profound emotional clarity, realizing that "love and kindness" for himself and others was the simple answer to his lingering grievance, allowing him to detach from the anger.
- He acknowledges that while the mushroom experience provided a powerful shift in perspective, integrating this insight into daily life is an ongoing process with a "50/50 success rate."
- Trøan concludes by valuing his 25 years at Cisco for the experiences and network gained, aiming to reach a point where he can laugh at the absurdity of corporate life rather than harboring bitterness, and building a new professional life.
Ultimately, Trøan is still navigating the aftermath, seeking to move beyond mere indifference to the layoff experience and instead find a way to view it with humor and detachment, all while rebuilding his professional identity and network on his own terms.